How the Chicago Cubs Plan to Ruin My Fantasy Movie about the Chicago Cubs

baseball-ball-isolated-on-whiteFor several years now, I’ve had an opening to a movie in my head. It’s all about the Chicago Cubs making it to the World Series and how that brings the entire world together. After all, the Cubs haven’t won the World Series since 1908, and who doesn’t love an underdog? (Of course, the Cleveland Indians are also underdogs. They haven’t won the Series since 1948. As one sports reporter writes: “Most of us have never lived on a planet where one of those teams is the champion of the baseball world.”

So here’s my mental movie that mostly likely will never be.

We see a lush, green, rolling landscape. There are sheep-dotted pastures marked by randomly meandering fences. We hear the lilting strains of a traditional Celtic air. Fading in on the bottom of the screen, we read:

CHICAGO

Cut to the interior of a pub, where a group of Irish sports fans are watching the final minutes of the play-off games. An American announcer asks, “Are the Cubbies finally going to make it into the World Series?”

A quick cut takes us to the noise and crowds of what becomes clearly a metropolis in India, Mumbai or Delhi perhaps. We now hear the beats of a veena and the strings of a tanpura. Again, fading in on the bottom of the screen, we read:

CHICAGO

Cut to the interior of a gathering place, where again a crowd has come together to watch the baseball game. The announcer continues the play-by-play, bringing the Cubs closer to their win. (One halfhearted fan mutters “That’s not cricket” before we hear the crack of the bat and this person suddenly becomes interested in the results.)

Cut to a rural landscape in, say, Botswana.

CHICAGO

Cut to Argentina.

CHICAGO

Scandinavia.

CHICAGO

Korea.

CHICAGO

Even an outpost in the Antarctic.

CHICAGO

The announcer’s voice runs over it all, culminating in the Cubs winning the playoffs and heading toward the World Series.

That’s as far as my imagination has gone with this movie. I don’t have focal characters or any kind of plot. And now I’m not inspired to continue even with the daydream. Such a film wouldn’t have nearly the same impact if, indeed, the Cubs win the World Series, so I figured I’d go ahead and put this out there. It’s a sweet opening, I think.

I have no idea how it ends.

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